We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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