Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
