btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize