I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
