Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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