Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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