Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
