i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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