I cockslap morals
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
