Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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