in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
