Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize