your thong is hanging out like whoa
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
