R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
