Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
