why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
