I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
