Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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