So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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