college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
