can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
