Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
