If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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