Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
