Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Where is the hickey?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
