There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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