My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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