Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
