Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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