i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
