My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
