jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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