well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Who did Billy Mays play for?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
