you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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