I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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