So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
