He disabled his match.com account in front of me
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
