Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
He felt like a one man threesome
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
the room spins SO much faster in panama
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize