if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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