just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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