All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
