Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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