K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
