the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
