I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
that is very illegal...i love you.
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