I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
