so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize