So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
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