It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
