that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
