okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
