that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize