y did u give ur computer a hand job?
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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