But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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