Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Randomize
