You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize