Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
