GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
