can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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