Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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