can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
