i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I love having hate sex.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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