Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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