party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
