Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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