you turned your livingroom into a bong?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
