you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize