I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just want nice things and good sex
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize